Confessions and Manifesto of a White Theatremaker
As a white theatremaker, I have some work to do. On myself first, of course, so I can better help the industry. The first step is admitting my own weaknesses and gaps in my knowledge. I love and support the BIPOC community in any way I can, but I know it’s still not good enough.
I get uncomfortable talking about race.
I often forget to make space for race issues.
I am insanely privileged.
I want things to be better for BIPOC people in general and theatre-makers in particular. But I sometimes get frustrated when hearing about race issues — from both sides. I think this holds me back the most.
There’s no point in putting on a pretty face and denying that I feel these things. To overcome my own limitations, first I have to name them.
But I want to be and do better. I know this means educating myself about the history and present moment of these issues, which live in our society and so in me. Then I must understand how they manifest in me. Then I must find a constructive way to break them down, analyze them, and replace them with ways of thinking and doing that result in positive change.
This all sounds very cliché, and it is, because I’m not the first person to struggle with how to be better. And I realize this is very inward-looking. I need to rework the way I hear things so I can properly take in the needs the those around me and help construct something productively healing.
In concrete terms, a small example, I read a document today called BIPOC Demands for White American Theatre, and I am at once in awe of the wonderful ideas gathered for moving forward, and a bit taken aback at other demands. Proposals such as regular anti-racist training seem extremely reasonable and implementable. But the writers would also like for white theatremakers to have riders in their contracts that specify that the company must have 50% BIPOC employees or they will not accept the work. This is just not always possible. I have worked at companies with venues in towns that are almost entirely white, and while I agree they need to make a better effort at inclusivity, this seems unreasonable.
I know people reading this will be on one side or the other, or perhaps right in the middle with me. But this is exactly what I’m struggling with: Fully understanding what’s needed so I can be part of making a better place for BIPOC theatremakers, while still organizing a productive space for the work that needs to be done (for me, theatre is work that needs to be done). Policies need to exist. But they also need to insist on realistic changes. My concern is that this demand only seems unreasonable to me. I need to understand how this kind of practice can actually work.
My hope is that you, reader, can hear what I’m saying and not immediately accuse me of being racist, but perhaps look inside yourself for the places you can improve too. We all can, and we all have to because if we get lazy, we lose momentum, and if we’re not moving forward, we’ll get stuck. We can hopefully all agree that that’s not where we want to be. I also want to offer you to reach out to me with your feedback, good or bad, so I can grow from it.
My promise is to keep working on this, learning, and at every step of my career, making space. I will also learn when to stand back and listen. I’m not here to save people. I’m here to make sure everyone is heard and to help where I can. This will stem from my own work to UNDERSTAND.
Works Cited:
BIPOC Demands for White American Theatre. We See You WAT. https://www.weseeyouwat.com/. Accessed October 2020.
Mishra, Kartic. Getty Images. https://www.gettyimages.ca/detail/photo/flower-wallpaper-royalty-free-image/1074765750?utm_medium=organic&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=iptcurl. Accessed October 2020.
